Friday, 31 December 2010

New year, new lungs?

Just a quick blog tonight cause I have to go start getting ready to party and bring in the new year!

Well 2010 has without a doubt been my worst year so far. My health became dramatically worse and my quality of life completely changed. Right from the first week in January it's been a bit of a rough ride. Getting pneumonia, needing o2 24/7, being diagnosed with diabetes, getting to the stage in my life where I need a transplant, the transplant assessment, having to start overnight feeding, a few really bad infections, being started on NIV overnight. It's just been one problem after another.

But all these rough times have made me look at life in a totally different light. Made me appreciate that I've made it to 2011 and still in good enough shape to celebrate it like every other 18 year old would. With plenty of booze and a good party! I realise things could be a whole lot worse and I'm so thankful I've had the medical care thats kept me going. Not forgetting my mum and all my friends (the ones who have stuck by me the whole way, the new ones I've made and even the ones who I might have lost along the way) and the guy who really kept me going up until the last few months. Things might have ended badly but I still remember that things were good, he was a huge part of my life for a year and he was literally my rock through the life changing times I went through at the start and middle of the year. I couldn't have asked any more of him at that time.

So with some old friends and some new I'm running (well maybe not running. Might get a bit breathless ha!) head first into 2011 and hope that this year brings more luck on the health front and that I'll be here this time next year with a different story to tell. Maybe even with some shiny new lungs! Then I really can go running into the new year!! :D

I hope everyone out there has a great night and makes 2011 everything they want it to be. Remember it's your life, you might not be able to control everything that life throws at you but you can try to take a different outlook on things and stay optimistic no matter what happens. Use the negative things to make you stronger for next time round and use the positive things to keep you battling on through the bumpy bits! You only get one chance at it so don't waste it!


Thursday, 23 December 2010

Tis' the season to get sexy

Everything's just peachy at the moment! So I don't have too may complaints (for a change).

First thing's first. I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW!! :D Just in time for Christmas, New Year and the party season. Loads of yummy food - which I'm in dire need of right now but I'll come back to that -, the telly's good which means plenty of cosy nights in, and last but not least lots of parties!! Looking forward to getting glammed up after sitting in my pjs with greasy hair for over a month. Sexy eh?

Christmas is in 2 days. Now, I'm not really a fan of Christmas. Never have been. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to my dinner. I actually cant stop thinking about it! Yum yum yum... it'll seem so much better because I've been living on hospital food for so long. But the food (if you can call it that) they give you on the NHS could make most things seem like something from Jamie Olivers' kitchen in comparison!

I'm panicing slightly.... I get discharged tomorrow afternoon so because I have absolutely no presents in for anyone (not even cards or wrapping paper!), my Mum's coming with me to battle through the hell that is Braehead before it closes at 5pm. I mean, luckily I've actually ordered most of the stuff already online so it's just a matter of picking it up from the stores plus jump into a couple of other shops enroute. So everyone's saying the place is insane but BRING IT ON!!

Well I'm not really sure what else to write except that I'm a happy wee Loulou despite the drama of the past month and I honestly think it has something to do with getting rid of a certain someone from my life. Everything might not be perfect but lets face it, will it ever be? I do know that everything in my life is easier to deal with and stay positive about even if it's really pants! Even being in hospital doesn't bother me any more. Sure, I would love to be at home or out doing what all my mates are doing but ward 6C feels like home just as much as my own wee house does. I see and talk to the nurses more often than most of my mates/family and if I were in here say 2 years ago, I would have been going absolutely mental if I never got out for a while after 2 days. Whereas now I can go 2 whole weeks without as much as stepping outside the building and I'll be quite happy. This place really is my second home and all the nurses are like a massive family (sorry for the cringe factor but I cant think of another way to put it!)

Hope you all have a really amazing weekend however you spend it and fabby new year (if you remember it the next morning).
See all you lovelies in 2011 ;) lets grab it by the balls!

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Scary times!

Well hey there. Thought I better update this to fill people in over the past 4/5 days (as best as I can remember which might not make much sense but I'll give it a go anyway!).
I was in Garters for a couple of weeks just for some IV's, nothing serious just had a bit of a cough and things but all was well when I got out. So I was discharged on the Wednesday and was absolutely fine till Saturday when I got really short of breath but decided just to chill out, do some extra physio and hope I'd be better in the morning. Obviously never worked though! I was only sleeping for about 2 hours before I woke up in total agony. Honestly thought I'd collapsed my lung!!

So off in the ambulance I went with the big blue flashy lights down to A+E in the RAH. Now everything's a bit hazy from then on due to mass amounts of morphene injections I was being given and my Co2 levels were seriously high so that totally messed up my head too.

I honestly don't remember what order things happened in or what happened on what days but I was moved to high dependancy for a couple of days until I was stable enough for them to transfer me over to Gartnavel. Totally bed bound until today (god was I glad to sit on a normal toilet!) due to all the machines, oxygen, NIV (Non-Invasive Ventilation) machines, venfolins, morphene access and whatever else they had invading my personal space! Not to mention all the morphene I was getting heehee! My mum told me my eyes were rolling back into my head and talking nonsence and god knows what else! None of this I can remember very well right enough.

But everyone gave me a good update on whats been going on today now I'm feeling much better. Even managed a shower and a wee wander round my room! Oh and I can get to the loo on my own too :D my dignity how I've missed you!! So everything is definitely on the right track!

I can make a joke about it all now but I really don't think anyone was laughing a few days ago. It's all a bit scary when you think how suddenly it all happened and just how unwell I was. It really hit home when they were wanting to move me to Intensive Care and just sedate me so they could ventilate me for a couple of days. Makes me so thankful to live in a country where the health care is so good and free! All the nurses have been amazing both in high dependancy and my usual nurses/doctors/physios etc up here in Gartnavel. I think lucky is an understatement! 

A big thanks to my Mum who's been at my bedside every single day (even at 3 in the morning in A+E). Kirstie who was there to meet me coming out the ambulance at Garters, rubbing my back and held my sickbowl while I chucked up my guts (yummy!) and has been up watching over me for hours on end every day.
And to Chris who jumped straight up to see me in high dependancy and held my hand because I was so scared and just needed someone to hold onto and make me feel safe again.
I'd never have done it without these people and everyone who's been phoning my mum and facebooking me! Definitely gives you something to keep strong for! Actually can't say thankyou enough.

You can now get in contact with me over facey or give me a text and I'll reply (making sense this time). Apologies for all the texts that have been ignored over the past few days! But I promise I'm not talking like a scary junkie anymore :)

Much love xx