Thursday, 16 September 2010

Recent happenings

Hiya everyone :)

Been meaning to update this all week but I've either been too busy or too tired after being busy. Well anyway, I'm doing really well (for a change) and I've had a really good month. Which obviously gives me something to push myself along with and focus on. Everything's pretty damn fabby right now actually!

Why is it so good you ask?
Well basically I've just felt so much healthier and had so much more energy. I don't have a clue where all this energy has come from (someone sprinkling magic fairy dust on me maybe?). Realistically it's probably just looking after myself that's paying off, but I can't help but wonder if it's actually mental more than physical?

Me and Dean broke up a few weeks ago as you all know and while I was with him, most of the time I found I honestly had no energy to do anything. Getting up and ready was a task in its own never mind actually going out and doing things. Meaning most of the time we spent it sitting in bed watching the telly and DVD's. But after a few days of sitting in the house on my own I forced myself up and out with some mates to give me something to take my mind off things. Ever since then I've been out nearly every day; doing things with mates, nights out, parties or even just generally doing more around the house. I've even recently managed to start drinking again without it making me feel horrible after like two vodkas! Things like walking are getting easier and I'm not getting headaches every day. Things that I thought would never happen until after my transplant.

So maybe it was really in my head? Yes I still need my oxygen all the time and no I'm not running marathons (yet). A lot of the time yeah I was really unwell and couldn't do anything. But maybe sometimes I was just assuming I couldn't do these things? That my partying days were over and that sick girls on oxygen couldn't go get pissed on a night out in Glasgow? Would I really have managed to get up and do these things if I knew I couldn't just go home and snuggle into my boy with a cup of tea and a film instead? I honestly don't know.

Another possibility is that I've been going to the gym at the hospital every week so I know I'm definitely building up my fitness levels. But that should only help me walk longer distances and such.

Maybe it's a bit of both?

All I know is, I've learned that I'm still Louise. Not sick Louise. And that I am just as capable of living life as any other 18 year old girl. Maybe even do more with my life than some folk who are fully capable with no tubes! I've felt on top of the world recently cause I've experienced things I was starting to forget what they felt like. And emotions that were left back last year before I got pneumonia. 

I'm still me!

So one lesson I'll remember is that if I ever do go back with Dean or if I eventually meet someone else before tx, although nights in are still nice, I know I can say yes to a night out too.

Life is what you make it :)

Also, I have a surprise next week that I'll post about later on in the week!

Saturday, 4 September 2010

Officially listed!!

Hiya everyone. Sorry I've not posted in a bit, loads of stuff has happened since my last entry. Yet not much of it I feel is worth posting about or I just don't know how to put it into words. So this is just a quick update.

I got the letter through this morning to say I'm officially on the active list. Which means from now on I could get the call at any time - day or night. I get quite frustrated when people ask about it and they always say 'so when are you getting your transplant?'. And quite often even if I try to explain it best I can, some just don't understand. So I'll have a go at putting it as simply as possible :) And let me know if there's anything you still don't get.
What happens is that when your on the list, it's not about 'first-come-first-serve', it all depends on what organs become available and whoever is a match (blood type, tissue type and even height) and needs them most at that time. No one knows when they'll get their transplant (weather its lung, kidney, heart, liver etc) because it all depends on who dies unfortunately. So when will I get my transplant? I don't have a clue. And I wont know until they have the lungs available, which is when I'll get a call and will be rushed down to Newcastle by ambulance or helicopter (woohoo!). It could be tomorrow, it could be 2 years from now.
Also I'll probably have a few false alarms where I'll get called down to Newcastle and find out that the lungs are unsuitable for transplantation or it cant go ahead for various other reasons like me being too unwell or whatnot.


Last couple of weeks have been pretty crazy. I'm now living the single life now :P so out and about with mates more often and loads of time to do whatever I want really. Started attending the gym at the hospital for some exercise with the physio to help keep my muscles alive and me as fit as possible for when I get these new lungs!

Not really sure what else to tell you all. Everything's pretty good the now actually so the stress spots are finally leaving (which makes me less stressed naturally!)

I'll try keep this better updated and make it a bit more interesting with some photos and stuff :)
Much love! x